The motorcycle diatribes #3: Scooters.

Where to begin?

Scooters are great for central London traffic.  Small size and agility means they can dart through traffic.  Fuel economy is superb.  Up to 30-40mph — about as fast as you really need to go in London — they are perfect for commuting and getting around.  I owned one.

There are several things that perplex me about scooter drivers.

1.  Why do they think motorcycles are racing them?

We’re not.  We have better things to do.  The only time we lower ourselves to actually thinking you are worthy of notice is when there is open road ahead and you seem to think a 50cc Vespa can actually out accelerate a 675cc Triumph, when a bit of juvenile pique does occasionally demand an actual demonstration of performance superiority. 

The only reason scooters may believe this is possible is when the driver of the 675cc Triumph isn’t actually racing the scooter as its driver pushes it to the redline; meanwhile, the Triumph is toodling along at under 4,000 revs wondering what that awful noise is…

2.  Why do they insist on cutting in front of motorcycles?

I have never been cut in front of by a proper motorcycle.  Ever.  Yet on a daily basis scooters, seem to think that if there is a 2″ gap between the car and the cycle they should go for it.  I don’t give a shit if they want to get where they are going faster than I want to, but don’t make me hit my brakes or steer to avoid killing you and totalling your dashingly fashionable vintage Piaggio.

The fact is, the only reason you “zip in front” is because you are unsafe, incredibly lucky, and apparently immortal.  Your slow control is generally terrible, arms flapping and feet dragging along the ground while we look on in disgust, horror and not a little pity.

3.  Those ones with two front wheels, or the ring around them.

Just go home and hide under your bed.  It’s much safer there.

4.  Their attire.

An accident between a motorcycle and a car on tarmac at 20-40 mph is never a pretty thing.  You lose 1″ of flesh for each 10m you skid, not to mention impact damage.  So motorcyclists tend to wear a fair amount of body armour.

An accident between a scooter and a car on tarmac at 20-40 mph must be completely different, defying the laws of physics.  Magically, when a scooter has the exact same accident as a motorcycle, the scooter rider is gently lowered by invisible angels who provide a cushion against impact and abrasion.  That’s why people on scooters (most of them with Spanish or Italian plates) dress like they are in a 1950s Sophia Lauren movie.  It’s very glamorous.  It’s also why the majority of serious injuries in auto-motorcycle accidents are from bikes with displacement under 125cc.  That is, yes, scooters.

Put some clothes on, people.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, as with pedal cyclists, a lot of scooter riders are absolutely fine.  But why is it that while 90% of pedal cyclists are responsible, courteous, decent human beings, I’d estimate only about 25% of scooter drivers fit into the same category.  Is it a sense of inferiority driving them to act out, proving that although theirs is smaller, they can get there first?  Do you have something to prove?

Because I’m just trying to stay away from cars, buses and white vans and get to work in the morning.

ADDENDUM – 20 August 2008

With the exeption of the madman … and his pillion … on the Old Kent Road heading to Elephant & Castle the other morning on one of those 500cc Peugeots.  Hats off; total control and larger cojones than any motorcycle on the road that day.

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How closely should Employer brand align to Corporate brand?

The answer: it depends.

If you have significant equity in your corporate / consumer brand for those you seek to employ and retain, in most cases you can afford to be a bit more audacious with your employer brand; you have a lot in the bank.

If you are relatively unknown to those you seek to employ and retain, you probably need to make sure your corporate / consumer brand is pretty present.  You don’t have a lot in the bank.

There is no hard and fast rule, but that’s my tip o’ the day.

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Stop going to conferences about your own profession

And start going to ones about other professions.  If you are an internal communicator, go to Marketing conferences.  If you are a social media guru, go to brand conference.  If you are a brand guru, go to an HR conference.

Otherwise you will never grow and you’ll see the same 5 people who spend more time speaking at conferences about your profession than practicing your profession.  Mix it up a bit.

Heaven forbid you might learn something new or get inspired.

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Can your organisation walk and chew gum at the same time?

Regular visitors will know the tired drumhead I beat is about connecting internal communications to extenal communications, while not losing sight of the HR necessities that glue it all together.  All too often our professional (over-) specialisation into marketing, HR or internal communications tactics and techniques blinds us to the bigger picture.

Gallup has published some interesting stuff in the past 6 months about where their Human Sigma(TM) product meets their Q12(TM) product.

In essence, in a study of 2,000 units across 10 companies, units with superior customer engagement (e.g. brand loyalty) outperformed the baseline by 170%.  Those units with superior employee engagement (e.g., brand engagement) outperformed the baseline by a similar 170%.

However, things got interesting for the units that were above average (not leading, necessarily) in BOTH customer and employee engagement – with their performance at 340% above baseline.

This all links nicely to the Vivaldi study in 2002 that had these metrics at 160% and 320% respectively — more than coincidence? Probably not.

The point?  If you can align your brand and marketing efforts with your internal communication and HR efforts, both your customers and your people benefit, and you make more money.  Again, it’s the AND that is more important than the OR.  Marketing alone is an OR.  Employee engagement alone is an OR.

Or, in other words, employee engagement is OF EQUAL IMPORTANCE TO EXTERNAL COMMUNICATIONS in business performance.  Are the budgets equal?

Filed under: Employee engagement, brand engagement, employee communication, employer brand, internal communication, internal marketing, organisational communication , Employee engagement, brand engagement, internal marketing, human resources, HR, marketing and brand engagement, internal communication

Who is responsible for your reputation as an employer?

Brand?

Marketing?

Human Resources?

Internal communications?

Your leaders?

Your managers?

Your employees?

Your former employees?

Your recruitment agencies?

Your PR agencies?

Your customers?

Your former customers?

Facebook?

How do you manage this across organisational structures, media and audiences?

Good morning!

Filed under: Employee engagement, brand engagement, employee communication, employer brand, internal communication, internal marketing, organisational communication